Yes, I AM Enough

I've recently noticed how little time I've been devoting to God. I've just become so busy and caught up in everything, and although I make a conscious effort to pray with my kids every night, I've been forgetting about the time with God that I need - for me.

This entire post began as a prayer in my journal. And it quickly turned into a general devotional, perhaps one that I'll need to look back on one day. It all started with Ann Voskamp's blog post, about being enough, because Jesus is enough.

Except, I don't feel like I'm getting enough Jesus. Because I feel like that post was written for someone - people, who are persistent in their prayer lives, dedicated more than I, but who still feel lacking. I just know that after reading that I felt two things; guilt and love. Guilty because, perhaps, I'm not where I feel I should be as a Christian or doing what I feel I should be doing. And love because it was so beautifully written and God-breathed that even in my moment of self consciousness and doubt, I still felt His love radiating from that screen. And when I followed up with a prayer-turned-devotional...well... He "fixed" me right up. Brought me back to where I should be.

Sometimes the commotion, busyness, and distractions of this life begin to smother that fire you have inside. Your fire for God. The fire starts to choke out, begins to stifle your breathing. And you get so focused on the smoke, the fog spreading before you like a flowing dam set free. Gushing. Your mind needs clearing, your mind goes to God. You remember to stay low, lower than the smoke, and you crawl your way back to the fire, to fan the gift God gave you - build it back up (2 Timothy 1:6). It will burn hot once again, flames licking the sky, smoke dying down.

Satan may be the sprinkle rain fighting our fire, but God is our match, our light, our torch. He is the beginning to our every fire that burns. He never goes out, our main resource in times of need and desperation. (Isaiah 10:17)

Jesus was the light of this world, who became our torch when He died at Calvary. We can very well kindle to the burning hunger of our own fires inside but we need to realize and prioritize this essential necessity as Christians. We are armoured against the choking smoke of Satan. But we can't just stand there doing nothing. It's our responsibility that we nurture our fire - our relationship with God - before we nurture anything else. We have to use the tools and gifts we were given to refine it. We are after all, all apart of God's army, Children of God, heirs to the Kingdom of Heaven. This is who we are. We fight Satan everyday. And everyday we win. We win! Thank goodness for God's infinite love, for His sovereign ever-burning torch - Jesus.    

"My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." 2 Corinthians 12:9

Ann Voskamp sure was right about one thing. Our King Jesus is enough. Everyday He is enough. He knows the number of hairs on our heads (Matthew 10:30), He has knitted us together (Psalm 139:12-13), and has known us before the beginning (Ephesians 1:4 & Jeremiah 1:5). Of course He understands us, our busy lives - He's given us that too! So even in my busyness, yes.

I am enough. 

Sadness in my head. Love in my heart: Verse of the Week

 

Yesterday, February 25th, in the early morning hours while at work, it began to snow. And it didn't stop. Big chunky, pretty, feathery flakes came quickly but peacefully.

Near 6:30 am a co-worker came in telling us she witnessed a fatal car accident less than an hour before. A family traveling from Alberta. A mother, a father, and a young child -- killed on impact. Another, a baby, less than a year old, airlifted to hospital.

My stomach was in instant knots and I felt sick. I wanted to be home immediately with my two little treasures, hugging them, holding them, loving them. And I wondered, what was the last thing they all said to each other? Were they on their way to see family? I can't even begin to imagine. I honestly don't even know how she still made it into work given the weather and witnessing what she had. I asked her probably 20 questions and started praying almost immediately for that family and that poor baby who is now without parents and a brother or sister. Alone in this big scary, mean world.

I also questioned God.

It's just so hard for us to comprehend His reasoning sometimes. Especially for things such as this. John 16:33 - we are told there will be suffering. But there is also the gift of free will. The opportunity to choose. Choose to do something good, something right, or to do something bad, wrong -- sinful.

And there will be love. No, not will be, there was -- there is love. God did not create evil. However, he did create the potential for evil. Because this (free will) was also the only way to create the potential for goodness and love amongst us. It was us who brought this evil into the world. Humankind. And I think its important that we remind ourselves of this. We are always so quick to blame God and get mad. But He also gave us love.

And real love always involves a choice. Love has the highest value in the universe.

I love how C.S. Lewis put it:

"Why then, did God give them free will? Because free will, though it makes evil possible, is the only thing that makes possible any love or goodness or joy worth having.

If we were all programmed like robots to say "I love you" it wouldn't actually be love, would it? My daughter's doll that says, "I love you, Mommy!" Does not actually love my daughter. C.S. Lewis goes on to say:

"Of course God knew what would happen if they used their freedom the wrong way: apparently, He thought it worth the risk."

This is one of my favourite quotes of his. This end of the quote also reminds me of Romans 8:28.

Let's just rejoice for a moment, in this moment of heartache, in knowing that it's not over -- it's not! Because sometime soon, we will be with Jesus and we will be with our loved ones once again, if we just ask Him to be our friend, our saviour, and know that he hung up there on that cross with us in mind. Can you imagine that day? Can you imagine the happiness, the joy? The smiling? God says there will be no more pain, no more sickness or tears. But I wonder, will there be tears of happiness?

I didn't actually plan on this post being a Verse of the Week post but, God works His ways, doesn't He? What other way to end this post but with a verse and a prayer? So here it is: Romans 8:18.

 

Dear Father in Heaven, I am grateful and honored that you would share this gift of love with us, the gift of free will, and the gift of eternal life with You in Heaven. Although our hearts may break for those in pain and suffering, you tell us to have courage and to seek you in times of need. Please provide this family with love and comfort and encouragement and may they seek you, Father, and find you during this horrible time in their lives. To you belongs all the glory forever, Amen.



Verse of the week

Last week's verse was 1 John 3:18. We are going to kick this week off with Joshua 24:15 .

A few years ago my home was without The Lord. My life was without The Lord. Now it's hard to even think about living a life without God. But a few years ago when I found my way back to Christ and he accepted me fully and whole heartedly into his loving arms, I began to pray daily for my family. That The Lord would help me to raise my children in a way that would bring Him glory and in such a way that they would always truly love and know their Father in Heaven. I asked for prayer for my husband too, that he would come to know Christ. I prayed and I prayed and I prayed. And I questioned and worried and cried and then I prayed some more. Those days of being a wife to a non-Christian were tough. We got into some heated debates. But God is so good. Are you familiar with Philippians 4:6?

"do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God."

Mmm, yes. That. He answers prayers. I am proud and blessed and honored to say that my husband is now a Christian. He's not fully 100% there yet but he knows he is a Christian. He loves Jesus and thanks Him for all that we've got.

This doesn't stop me from praying for my family. I will continue to pray for as long as I have breath. (Psalm 116:2)

Dear Heavenly Father, You are a generous, loving and faithful God. We are all so blessed to be able to come to You with anything and everything, good or bad. Be with us this week and always as we find ways to serve you better and make you proud. I will serve you all the days of my life. Please help me instill the same love and appreciation for You in my children, those sweet, tender souls that You entrusted us with. Help me to help them love you to the fullest. Amen.   

Mom's Night Out

Lets just be brutally honest. And i know theres probably a zillion and one posts out there about this but i just wanna get this out. Because often times, its satisfying and even gratifying to hear about someone doing just a bad or worse than you are. Admit it, thats what you're looking for when you turn to social media to vent. You dont want people telling you it will all be okay in 5 years. Or a "hugs!! Hang in there" (YOU HAVE NO IDEA, SHUT IT, LADY!) You want someone to tell you how bad THEY have it, then you realize that your situation is not actually all that bad.

 

Its no lie that being a mother is the hardest job out there. And being a stay-at-home-mom, you barely ever get a break. There's always laundry to be washed, toys to be cleaned up off the floor, surfaces sanitized, floors swept/mopped/vacuumed, diapers to be changed, baths to be given, food to be made, screaming or fighting children to attend to etc. etc.

 

Its REALLY hard. REALLY stressful. REALLY exhausting.

This is daily life for me.

 

I love my kids. And i, too, feel like there's no one out there that loves their children as much as i love mine.

 

But i have my moments. These terrible ugly awful moments where i feel like a monster. Like the meanest person. The most impatient mother ever. And i pray and i pray and i pray. All. The. Time. And i take it day by day.

 

A lot of times i refer back to scripture and just sit and talk to God. And i recite James 1:19 "Know this, my beloved brothers, let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak and slow to anger. For the anger of man does not produce the righteousness of God."

 

A few night's ago my husband and i sat down to watch a movie and decided on Mom's Night Out with Sarah Drew from Grey's Anatomy.

 

 

I seriously love that woman. Her acting, her faith, her hair (is amazing - always!!). Shes just very beautiful and extrmely talented. And this movie was completely and hilariously perfect. She portrayed a stressed out mother of three VERY well. I could relate to this woman so easily and im sure so many other women can as well. I highly recommend it. The ending was beautiful. Very touching and very profound. I love that it was a Christian movie and it was decent enough for me to sit down and watch with my daughter (i havent). Its not a children's movie but its alao not a movie that i would be uncomfortable with like most movies/tv shows.

I don't want to give too much away in respect to the people who haven't seen it. There were tons of good, encouraging lines in this movie, but one of my favourites was this:

 

 

And that's that. Just a great movie and a reminder that we can do anything through Christ who strengthens us.

Amen.

...now I have to go clean my bathroom before my baby wakes up. :)



There's something in the air...

Christmas. Its the season. There's something about Christmas (okay, everything about Christmas) that makes my insides all warm and gooey. But why? Why does Christmas make anyone warm and gooey?
 

You order a coffee and recieve that first Christmasy cup. Or the slight excitement of waking up and seeing that beautiful cold, white snow sprinkled on the ground. Hearing your first christmas song of the year, and feeling that warm child-like joy rise up in you. Freezing your hiney off at a Christmas parade. Or getting the tree up, decorated, plugged in, twinkling. Candles burning. Wind howling. Curled up on the sofa under the warmest blanket.
 

Joy.
 

Family gatherings and turkey galore. Poinsettias and gingerbread houses. The box of chocolates sitting on the table. Laughing, smiling. Love. Real joy and gratitude. Because it's Christmastime.

The day we celebrate the birth of our Saviour and Lord. Jesus. Who came into this world just as every other person does. As a baby. Soft and squishy and cuddly and beautiful and innocent. Except He was perfect and without sin. A baby who grew to love us so much more in return. Love us so extremely He ended His life for us. He choosingly suffered on the cross so that we might live forever with him. He brought a man back from the dead! He could have very well gotten himself down from where he was nailed. But he didn't. And he didn't for us. And that's love, true love, real love - the realest of real.
 

He is the reason for the season.
 

Join me in my very own photo-a-day challenge for December. And keep Jesus in the season. The way it should be.