Hello Again

Life got busy again. Or rather, life got busier. And now I'm three weeks behind in my 365 photo challenge, which, I have the photos -- I just haven't posted them. 

I'm also behind on a ton of other stuff. Like laundry (who's not behind on laundry, though, right?) and cleaning the bathrooms, and my Bible study, and keeping in touch with family. I kind of suck at this working mom thing. I'm not even working 40 hours a week (maybe 30-35).

Basically, three months of having a job and I'm still not organized and good with time management.

I've also made some pretty drastic lifestyle changes that I'll have to share at a later date, which is likely another reason why I've been so off and all over the place and unorganized.

Anyways, I'm still sort-of-around.

365 Photos week 11, 12, and 13 will be up soon!

Happy Easter and God Bless!

To know when your family is complete

How do you know? Do you just... know?

Do you just wait? Wait and see what God hands you? Wait until you're children are grown into teenagers and are finishing high school?

How do you know?

I've got 2 children. A boy and a girl...and a dog. The "Million Dollar Family" is mine. Life seems to just work. A child for each of us to be "in charge of". Two car seats in the back and breathing space. We don't need a minivan. We have just enough seats around the dining room table. When we go to a restaurant, most tables are made for four. We have a three bedroom house, perfect.

But are we done? I don't know. Maybe. Maybe not.

My husband has recently asked me if he should go get "fixed". We've talked about it before James was born and he agreed that when it came time he would go. But I told him no. We are young, our children are young. What if?

Do we ever really know? I think some people, somehow, know. I don't know how, but after one child they seem to be done. At least for a few people I know this has been the case. And they were so sure that they already went to extreme measures to ensure that they were done.

Babies are beautiful little beings. Amazing and sweet and so very soft and then they are not babies anymore. They come with so many responsibilities and before they are even born your agenda is full. Your life is full and busy. But it goes by so quickly. They are on their own and independent far longer than they are in your arms or in your home.

It's the sad reality of raising human beings. You don't get to keep them.

I think it's easy enough to just say, for now, our family is complete. Our family is just right.

And really, I think that's all you can say, unless you take precautionary surgical measures to ensure there will be no more children.

It's a tough question. People ask me and I reply, "Probably. Maybe. I think so. ....I don't know." I am happy. So very happy and busy and euphoric with the two little beings I have. They are the only little people that are half of me at this point and unless another baby "happens". We are complete.

How do/did you know when your family is complete?

One day I'll cherish these crazy moments. But for now? SCHOOL! Hallelujah!

Ah, school is back!

Okay, seriously, raise your hand if you were counting down the hours until school started back up. I love having Leah home and spending time with her and all, but they both just nag and nag and nag. Not just me, each other. One wants this movie on, the other wants that movie on. One is calling out from the bathroom, "MOM! I pooped, come wipe me!", while my husband and I quickly scramble to shout, "NOT IT!" (for the record, he's always most always the first to declare "not It"). The other child is hauling around the family-size box of Fruit Loops barking like a seal (seals bark, right? Whatever, that noise is) and pushing his Thomas the Train cup at me to top 'em up for the 124,999th time that day (I think he needs an intervention).

Well, Hallelujah, thank you Jesus for teachers and all that they do for us parents at home.

There's no more not as much fighting between the kids, Leah is magically happy with whatever is on the t.v. when she comes home, and honestly, she's more willing to help occupy her brother, and he certainly misses her, too.



James still barks like a seal but he also has started this sing-song "ga-ga-ga-GA!", so he's switchin' it up a bit. The box of cereal also still gets carried around but he has started eating 3+ bananas a day as well (which equals 3+ more diaper changes that Dad is not It). Big changes I tell you. Kid is gonna be jacked!

Motherhood Rambling (whining)

Motherhood isn't always sunshine and daisies. At least for me. I kinda squint my eyes in wonder (and maybe a hint of sarcastic judgment) as I scroll through someone's "perfectly happy" Instagram life. Your sweet children are beautiful but all I can think is how the heck does she do it?

Some peoples "bad" days are my good days.

I just want to do this mom-thing right. I just want to raise good children, Godly children. That grow into people I'll be proud of. Is that too much? Is that unrealistic? Because most days im questioning this whole job.

Like, I'm doing it all wrong.

What do you hear during the day? The radio? The T.V? Nothing?!

I hear Backyardigans. All freaking day! Everyday. And then, I go to sleep and I see them. I dream, if I'm lucky enough to go into that deep of a sleep, and they are there. Five dancing little creatures.

Because If they aren't on the t.v. James has a conniption. He maybe watches it for a total of 1.5 hours a day, VERY on and off. But he HAS to have it playing. We have two movies. One that is 25 minutes and another that is 1.5 hours.

Yeaahhh.... Let me tell you. There's a lot of Backyardigan hours in a day. Believe me.

Also? How does one NOT go a little nuts with a child constantly on your leg and another whining in the background while Backyardigans play for the 8th time that day?

Going pee? Yeah... you're not alone. You're never alone. Like, everrrrr.

And I have two children. Reasonably spaced. Nothing crazy like a year or two. No, they are almost 4 years apart. And they still fight. My one year old has known how to pull hair to get his way since he was 9 months old. My almost-5-year-old = whining QUEEN. You ain't heard whining till you heard my daughter. And so, obviously, James has learned this skill as well. Guess what else she taught him. They both sit there shaking their heads no saying "uh uhn!"

I'm just saying.

I thought this mommy thing would be easier.

Children are beautiful, but man is it hard. Worth it, if you come out sane. Well, maybe if you don't come out sane, it's still worth it. But still.

Iv'e had a few days of "MOMMY MOMENTS"!! Pray for me.

Mom's Night Out

Lets just be brutally honest. And i know theres probably a zillion and one posts out there about this but i just wanna get this out. Because often times, its satisfying and even gratifying to hear about someone doing just a bad or worse than you are. Admit it, thats what you're looking for when you turn to social media to vent. You dont want people telling you it will all be okay in 5 years. Or a "hugs!! Hang in there" (YOU HAVE NO IDEA, SHUT IT, LADY!) You want someone to tell you how bad THEY have it, then you realize that your situation is not actually all that bad.

 

Its no lie that being a mother is the hardest job out there. And being a stay-at-home-mom, you barely ever get a break. There's always laundry to be washed, toys to be cleaned up off the floor, surfaces sanitized, floors swept/mopped/vacuumed, diapers to be changed, baths to be given, food to be made, screaming or fighting children to attend to etc. etc.

 

Its REALLY hard. REALLY stressful. REALLY exhausting.

This is daily life for me.

 

I love my kids. And i, too, feel like there's no one out there that loves their children as much as i love mine.

 

But i have my moments. These terrible ugly awful moments where i feel like a monster. Like the meanest person. The most impatient mother ever. And i pray and i pray and i pray. All. The. Time. And i take it day by day.

 

A lot of times i refer back to scripture and just sit and talk to God. And i recite James 1:19 "Know this, my beloved brothers, let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak and slow to anger. For the anger of man does not produce the righteousness of God."

 

A few night's ago my husband and i sat down to watch a movie and decided on Mom's Night Out with Sarah Drew from Grey's Anatomy.

 

 

I seriously love that woman. Her acting, her faith, her hair (is amazing - always!!). Shes just very beautiful and extrmely talented. And this movie was completely and hilariously perfect. She portrayed a stressed out mother of three VERY well. I could relate to this woman so easily and im sure so many other women can as well. I highly recommend it. The ending was beautiful. Very touching and very profound. I love that it was a Christian movie and it was decent enough for me to sit down and watch with my daughter (i havent). Its not a children's movie but its alao not a movie that i would be uncomfortable with like most movies/tv shows.

I don't want to give too much away in respect to the people who haven't seen it. There were tons of good, encouraging lines in this movie, but one of my favourites was this:

 

 

And that's that. Just a great movie and a reminder that we can do anything through Christ who strengthens us.

Amen.

...now I have to go clean my bathroom before my baby wakes up. :)