Yes, I AM Enough

I've recently noticed how little time I've been devoting to God. I've just become so busy and caught up in everything, and although I make a conscious effort to pray with my kids every night, I've been forgetting about the time with God that I need - for me.

This entire post began as a prayer in my journal. And it quickly turned into a general devotional, perhaps one that I'll need to look back on one day. It all started with Ann Voskamp's blog post, about being enough, because Jesus is enough.

Except, I don't feel like I'm getting enough Jesus. Because I feel like that post was written for someone - people, who are persistent in their prayer lives, dedicated more than I, but who still feel lacking. I just know that after reading that I felt two things; guilt and love. Guilty because, perhaps, I'm not where I feel I should be as a Christian or doing what I feel I should be doing. And love because it was so beautifully written and God-breathed that even in my moment of self consciousness and doubt, I still felt His love radiating from that screen. And when I followed up with a prayer-turned-devotional...well... He "fixed" me right up. Brought me back to where I should be.

Sometimes the commotion, busyness, and distractions of this life begin to smother that fire you have inside. Your fire for God. The fire starts to choke out, begins to stifle your breathing. And you get so focused on the smoke, the fog spreading before you like a flowing dam set free. Gushing. Your mind needs clearing, your mind goes to God. You remember to stay low, lower than the smoke, and you crawl your way back to the fire, to fan the gift God gave you - build it back up (2 Timothy 1:6). It will burn hot once again, flames licking the sky, smoke dying down.

Satan may be the sprinkle rain fighting our fire, but God is our match, our light, our torch. He is the beginning to our every fire that burns. He never goes out, our main resource in times of need and desperation. (Isaiah 10:17)

Jesus was the light of this world, who became our torch when He died at Calvary. We can very well kindle to the burning hunger of our own fires inside but we need to realize and prioritize this essential necessity as Christians. We are armoured against the choking smoke of Satan. But we can't just stand there doing nothing. It's our responsibility that we nurture our fire - our relationship with God - before we nurture anything else. We have to use the tools and gifts we were given to refine it. We are after all, all apart of God's army, Children of God, heirs to the Kingdom of Heaven. This is who we are. We fight Satan everyday. And everyday we win. We win! Thank goodness for God's infinite love, for His sovereign ever-burning torch - Jesus.    

"My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." 2 Corinthians 12:9

Ann Voskamp sure was right about one thing. Our King Jesus is enough. Everyday He is enough. He knows the number of hairs on our heads (Matthew 10:30), He has knitted us together (Psalm 139:12-13), and has known us before the beginning (Ephesians 1:4 & Jeremiah 1:5). Of course He understands us, our busy lives - He's given us that too! So even in my busyness, yes.

I am enough. 

Sadness in my head. Love in my heart: Verse of the Week

 

Yesterday, February 25th, in the early morning hours while at work, it began to snow. And it didn't stop. Big chunky, pretty, feathery flakes came quickly but peacefully.

Near 6:30 am a co-worker came in telling us she witnessed a fatal car accident less than an hour before. A family traveling from Alberta. A mother, a father, and a young child -- killed on impact. Another, a baby, less than a year old, airlifted to hospital.

My stomach was in instant knots and I felt sick. I wanted to be home immediately with my two little treasures, hugging them, holding them, loving them. And I wondered, what was the last thing they all said to each other? Were they on their way to see family? I can't even begin to imagine. I honestly don't even know how she still made it into work given the weather and witnessing what she had. I asked her probably 20 questions and started praying almost immediately for that family and that poor baby who is now without parents and a brother or sister. Alone in this big scary, mean world.

I also questioned God.

It's just so hard for us to comprehend His reasoning sometimes. Especially for things such as this. John 16:33 - we are told there will be suffering. But there is also the gift of free will. The opportunity to choose. Choose to do something good, something right, or to do something bad, wrong -- sinful.

And there will be love. No, not will be, there was -- there is love. God did not create evil. However, he did create the potential for evil. Because this (free will) was also the only way to create the potential for goodness and love amongst us. It was us who brought this evil into the world. Humankind. And I think its important that we remind ourselves of this. We are always so quick to blame God and get mad. But He also gave us love.

And real love always involves a choice. Love has the highest value in the universe.

I love how C.S. Lewis put it:

"Why then, did God give them free will? Because free will, though it makes evil possible, is the only thing that makes possible any love or goodness or joy worth having.

If we were all programmed like robots to say "I love you" it wouldn't actually be love, would it? My daughter's doll that says, "I love you, Mommy!" Does not actually love my daughter. C.S. Lewis goes on to say:

"Of course God knew what would happen if they used their freedom the wrong way: apparently, He thought it worth the risk."

This is one of my favourite quotes of his. This end of the quote also reminds me of Romans 8:28.

Let's just rejoice for a moment, in this moment of heartache, in knowing that it's not over -- it's not! Because sometime soon, we will be with Jesus and we will be with our loved ones once again, if we just ask Him to be our friend, our saviour, and know that he hung up there on that cross with us in mind. Can you imagine that day? Can you imagine the happiness, the joy? The smiling? God says there will be no more pain, no more sickness or tears. But I wonder, will there be tears of happiness?

I didn't actually plan on this post being a Verse of the Week post but, God works His ways, doesn't He? What other way to end this post but with a verse and a prayer? So here it is: Romans 8:18.

 

Dear Father in Heaven, I am grateful and honored that you would share this gift of love with us, the gift of free will, and the gift of eternal life with You in Heaven. Although our hearts may break for those in pain and suffering, you tell us to have courage and to seek you in times of need. Please provide this family with love and comfort and encouragement and may they seek you, Father, and find you during this horrible time in their lives. To you belongs all the glory forever, Amen.



Verse of the week

Well, as I said in my previous post, I've been working midnights and also, 40 hours. I don't think I've ever worked 40 hours in a week. And I know I've never done midnights. So this has been a hard couple of weeks.

But, God knows every possible trouble we may encounter and His Word is there, filled with words of wisdom and encouragement and guidance to keep us going. I chose Matthew 11:28 this week.

In the wee hours of the morning when my eyes are feeling heavy, my mind clouded and my body aching for my bed, I'm hoping this verse will give me the encouragement and strength I need, and an energy boost too would be lovely (please and thank you, God!)

Hope you all have a safe and great weekend! It's freezing cold here, and I would just love to spend it wrapped up under blankies in my bed with coffee and movies and my husband next to me.

Ha, yeah, right. Maybe when we're retired. lol

Dear Lord, Thank you for your unconditional love and support. Please remind me, when I need it, to seek your strength that you generously offer. Please give me rest and renew me for the week ahead. Amen.

Verse of the week

Last week's verse was 1 John 3:18. We are going to kick this week off with Joshua 24:15 .

A few years ago my home was without The Lord. My life was without The Lord. Now it's hard to even think about living a life without God. But a few years ago when I found my way back to Christ and he accepted me fully and whole heartedly into his loving arms, I began to pray daily for my family. That The Lord would help me to raise my children in a way that would bring Him glory and in such a way that they would always truly love and know their Father in Heaven. I asked for prayer for my husband too, that he would come to know Christ. I prayed and I prayed and I prayed. And I questioned and worried and cried and then I prayed some more. Those days of being a wife to a non-Christian were tough. We got into some heated debates. But God is so good. Are you familiar with Philippians 4:6?

"do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God."

Mmm, yes. That. He answers prayers. I am proud and blessed and honored to say that my husband is now a Christian. He's not fully 100% there yet but he knows he is a Christian. He loves Jesus and thanks Him for all that we've got.

This doesn't stop me from praying for my family. I will continue to pray for as long as I have breath. (Psalm 116:2)

Dear Heavenly Father, You are a generous, loving and faithful God. We are all so blessed to be able to come to You with anything and everything, good or bad. Be with us this week and always as we find ways to serve you better and make you proud. I will serve you all the days of my life. Please help me instill the same love and appreciation for You in my children, those sweet, tender souls that You entrusted us with. Help me to help them love you to the fullest. Amen.   

This Week's Inspiration Verse

Practicing last week's verse went great! I wrote it down and taped the piece of paper up in the dining room. Leah and I practiced it every time we sat to the table. Sometimes she even took the initiative to start us up, "Mommy, lets say this weeks verse! ...Confess your sins..." And on she went. By the end of the week she had the entire thing memorized and looked to me for approval.

This week I chose one that she could really understand and hopefully resonate with and put into action. 1 John 3:18. We, as children of God, sons and daughters, princes and princess of the One True King are addressed. The letter of 1 John addresses all Christians as Children of God, we all know God the Father, and with that being so, we are all therefore brothers and sisters in Christ.

The Geneva Bible says, "My little children, let us not love in word, neither in tongue only, but in deed and in truth."

We are called to set an example. We should not merely say that we love. Our love must show itself in what we do. We Christians should love each other. We should be active in our love. We should work for the benefit of other people with sincerity and compassion and generosity.

This week I'm going to work with Leah to put love into action.

Father in Heaven, thank you. Thank you for you're faithful and genuine love for us. Thank you for the freedom to publicly love you without much reprimand. Please wrap your loving, comforting arms around those who are persecuted, especially those who lose their lives for loving you. Please be with us this week and always as we try to help others and show genuine love in our actions. To you be all the glory, forever. I love you. Amen.

Weekly Scripture Challenge

As if life hasn't gotten busy enough, here I go thinking of something else to use up my time. Except this? Is about love. It's about peace. It's about Grace. Its about Gratitude. It's about Him. Time with Him. It was one of my New Year Goals.

I have been so blessed these last couple of months, my family has been blessed and I am just so excited to see what God has in store for us. My school has been put on hold and I've found a job! (Another New Year Goal completed!)

So, now what can I do for Him? What about a weekly scripture? ... for me, my kids, my husband, for you, if you would like. I don't know about you but everything is pretty busy around here now that my husband and I are working, Leah is in school and all while still trying to keep house and entertain and love on my littles. But this is something that can be easy. It can be done at bed, at the dinner table, during breakfast, or all three. It doesn't have to be anything major but by the end of the week, if my daughter has learned a new verse, that would be enough to make my entire week!



Lets start off with James 5:16. Do you have anyone that you feel comfortable enough to confess your sins to? I have a few people I'm comfortable enough around to confess most sins. But for the ones that I'd rather not share? I turn to God and ask his forgiveness. I can count on him to keep my secrets and understand my faults. One day, when my children come to me with their issues and embarrassments or problems, I just hope I have enough grace by then to understand and forgive. And enough knowledge to guide them and help them when they need it.

Lets pray: Dear Heavenly Father, thank you for your mercy, your grace and your faith in me. Thank you for these precious little gifts that I get to raise into adults. Please give me the courage and confidence to confess and confide in a friend without feeling judged. I pray for knowledge and understanding as my children look to me for answers and forgiveness as well. Thank you for your many blessings each and every day. I love you.
In Jesus name, Amen.