I've recently noticed how little time I've been devoting to God. I've just become so busy and caught up in everything, and although I make a conscious effort to pray with my kids every night, I've been forgetting about the time with God that I need - for me.
This entire post began as a prayer in my journal. And it quickly turned into a general devotional, perhaps one that I'll need to look back on one day. It all started with Ann Voskamp's blog post, about being enough, because Jesus is enough.
Except, I don't feel like I'm getting enough Jesus. Because I feel like that post was written for someone - people, who are persistent in their prayer lives, dedicated more than I, but who still feel lacking. I just know that after reading that I felt two things; guilt and love. Guilty because, perhaps, I'm not where I feel I should be as a Christian or doing what I feel I should be doing. And love because it was so beautifully written and God-breathed that even in my moment of self consciousness and doubt, I still felt His love radiating from that screen. And when I followed up with a prayer-turned-devotional...well... He "fixed" me right up. Brought me back to where I should be.
Sometimes the commotion, busyness, and distractions of this life begin to smother that fire you have inside. Your fire for God. The fire starts to choke out, begins to stifle your breathing. And you get so focused on the smoke, the fog spreading before you like a flowing dam set free. Gushing. Your mind needs clearing, your mind goes to God. You remember to stay low, lower than the smoke, and you crawl your way back to the fire, to fan the gift God gave you - build it back up (2 Timothy 1:6). It will burn hot once again, flames licking the sky, smoke dying down.
Satan may be the sprinkle rain fighting our fire, but God is our match, our light, our torch. He is the beginning to our every fire that burns. He never goes out, our main resource in times of need and desperation. (Isaiah 10:17)
Jesus was the light of this world, who became our torch when He died at Calvary. We can very well kindle to the burning hunger of our own fires inside but we need to realize and prioritize this essential necessity as Christians. We are armoured against the choking smoke of Satan. But we can't just stand there doing nothing. It's our responsibility that we nurture our fire - our relationship with God - before we nurture anything else. We have to use the tools and gifts we were given to refine it. We are after all, all apart of God's army, Children of God, heirs to the Kingdom of Heaven. This is who we are. We fight Satan everyday. And everyday we win. We win! Thank goodness for God's infinite love, for His sovereign ever-burning torch - Jesus.
"My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." 2 Corinthians 12:9
I am enough.
